First, using the commons as an example is a bad idea. This is college, Arty.

[Seriously. He squeezes Artemis's hand back]

Second...if we did start dating and it turned out you were ace, we could figure something out. Friends always do, y'know, and no matter what, you're my best friend on this coast. If you don't like me back, if you do, if you do and you don't want sex, if you decide to go live with the penguins, you're my best friend here.